But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
wrigley field is MILF paradise
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
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