Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Randomize
