PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
