You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
i will never coherently bang her
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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