Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Randomize
