I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
