I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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