Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
