My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
