Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
