This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Randomize
