Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
