I cockslap morals
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
