she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I am midnight drunk by noon
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Randomize
