my room smells like sperm. sweet.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
