Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
