Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
