I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
