So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
it was like eating out sand paper
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
