I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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