I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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