Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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