Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I'm getting married
To pizza
i need some magic done to my vagina
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
