Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize