My Higher Power is John Stamos
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
