Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
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