What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Randomize
