She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
