Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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