Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
