I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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