In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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