Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Randomize
