So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
