high people should be assigned attendants
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
