she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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