I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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