you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
