David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
