So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize