Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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