Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
