i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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