why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
