went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
