have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
