her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
