dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
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