I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
This baby is an asshole
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
