Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
