I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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