highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
