My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
