I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
