I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Randomize
