I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
